US Soccer Birthday Roast: Parkhurst Edition
Por David Wilson

The Host: Michael Parkhurst, let me be the first to say “Happy Birthday!” Wait, your birthday was yesterday? Geez, I’m so sorry. Well, we managed to get everyone together here at our local Chili’s, so we might as well (1) honor the soccer feats you have accomplished in the last 26 years, and (2) “pepper in some flavor.” After all, your immense talent has taken you to foreign shores (Denmark, to be exact) and earned you an opportunity to succeed with the US Nats. Sure, Bradley doesn’t seem to favor you as much as a couple of other defenders, but you are on his radar.